Cyberjoke friday v1.992 Halloween edition

Yes it is time for another edition of Cyberjokes edition, might as well make it Halloween themed:

Q: When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
A: When you are a mouse.
So we can make it cyber related(mine):
Q: When is it bad luck to meet a Hacker?
A: When your computer is named Murphyslaw
Halloween jokes from halloween.com
Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet?
A. blood-thirsty hacker baby
Q. What did the bird say on Halloween?
A. Trick or tweet!
1. If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction
2. Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error be discovered
3. Job control cards that positively cannot be arranged in improper order will be
4. Interchangeable tapes won’t
5. If the input editor has ben designed to reject all bad inputan ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

Cyberjoke Friday Summer Edition v1.991

Library jokes in the summer:

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer?

A lot of memory.

Why did the computer sneeze?

It had a virus

What did the spider do inside the library computer?

It made a web page.

Or we have the ultimate ring fight:

Hmm always there isn’t it? Human error versus our best devices and efforts.

Pinterest has some good jokes sometimes…

Cybergeeks say that the weakest link is the human.

How about xkcd?  In the computing world, xdck is classic and great.

 

Be careful what you ask for. The Darknet is one such place

Guns available on the Darknet in the past

And don’t believe that anything on the Internet or Darknet is actually ‘anonymous’. If it sounds too good to be true, then it is.

 

And finally

It is always amazing to me that how little people update their computers and other devices – no matter the ultimate fix.

Contact me to discuss IT security…

Cyberjoke Friday v1.99 Easter 2017 Edition

image from Small Business Trends online site

Yes on Holidays I like to do things that are not done weekly or monthly – like backups, and shred old documents etc.

And now for the jokes:

An Attempt by ESPI Blog to explain Easter Eggs (software) with 1st Easter Egg:

Some Easter eggs are hidden, so are very well hidden, and then there’s the Video Whizball Easter egg. Now considered the first software Easter egg ever, the hidden name of the game programmer was not found for 26 years after the game’s initial release in 1978. While the Easter egg is rather minor, simply a printout of the programmer’s family name, it is noteworthy as it is, as the earliest instance of a hidden feature in software. Of course, there could be others in earlier software, so get out there and find them!

 

Look for some Easter eggs on Google – search for ‘anagram’  (it will say Did you mean ‘nag a ram’?  Mediaite post from 2010 on the anagram Google Joke

 

Unfortunately the real joke is on us the clients of small businesses:

And now you know why 60% of small business(KnowBe4) hacked is out of business within six months.

If you want to make a change in your Cybersecurity contact Us

Cyberjoke Friday v1.98 Cybersecurity disaster edition

Calling for help is a good start, but may not be best to create a DR plan on the fly or when a disaster is occurring.

this Cartoon is from Designer Hipster Cartoons

Some decent IT jokes from Steve Goldman Associates:

What’s the definition of an IT professional?
Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Why did the IT auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.


I like to make jokes sometimes when explaining the actual issue seems too difficult with all of the political repercussions in a company.

 

Make sure you have a working Disaster recovery plan with a proper auditor that will  check and doublecheck your processes and procedures so that you do not have to go out of business like most small business when disaster occurs.

Cyberjoke Friday v1.97 quotes edition

Here are some great quotes that should keep you thinking about How much security is needed.

These quotes are from Nativeintelligence.com:

Security is always excessive until it’s not enough. — Robbie Sinclair, Head of Security, Country Energy, NSW Australia

Here is a long one:

Those of us in security are very much like heart doctors — cardiologists. Our patients know that lack of exercise, too much dietary fat, and smoking are all bad for them. But they will continue to smoke, and eat fried foods, and practice being couch potatoes until they have their infarction. Then they want a magic pill to make them better all at once, without the effort. And by the way, they claim loudly that their condition really isn’t their fault — it was genetics, or the tobacco companies, or McDonalds that was to blame. And they blame us for not taking better care of them. Does this sound familiar?

 

This one is important for the Ransomware defense: Schrodinger’s Backup: “The condition of any backup is unknown until a restore is attempted.”

Shrödinger’s cat is a unique phenomenon in quantum mechanics  so in a sense it is a principle of backups that most people need to learn and understand. You HAVE to test the backup, otherwise it is not useful.

 

From Brainyquote.com

Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward.  Maxwell Maltz  (cosmetic surgeon and author of Psycho-Cybernetics).  The original text of his book: “The New Psycho-Cybernetics”

That is an important quote to remember – as you develop your own GRC – Governance, Risk, and Compliance efforts it is important to move forward to keep everyone on task.

“There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity” Douglas MacArthur.


We need to find some hacker security quotes, here is one:

“But we are hackers and hackers have black terminals with green font colors!”  by John Nunemaker (this was from a while ago – likely in the 90s or earlier as today everyone hacks from PCs.

This is more like it:

“I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto, You may stop this individual, but you can’t stop us all.”

“One single vulnerability is all an attacker needs”. Window Snyder – CSO of Fastly

 

Can’t forget Kevin Mitnick (the famous hacker of the 90s)

I have tried to figure out the money available to the hacker for the lack of patch management:

 

And that was at the beginning of this year 2016.  Out of 220 million PCs Microsoft knows that 10% do not patch fast enough ( they can tell how many systems should be accessing their servers).  So 22million PCs are a target for ransomware, which means at $300 per attack this is a potential $7Billion  potential for hackers.  Which means this warchest can be used to make more sophisticated attacks.

 

And we can always go back to the very old:

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

Keep that in mind when teaching the new procedures and policies.