Cyberjokes v1.997 Memorial day weekend 2020

On this Memorial Day let’s talk viruses (from Ahajokes.com)

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism”.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.

 

Kids Computer Jokes at Ahajokes.com

 

Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A: It had a virus!

Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?
A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?

Q: Where do all the cool mice live?
A: In their mousepads

 

from https://upjoke.com/virus-jokes

This Corona virus is a blessing

My wife doesn’t want to travel anywhere.

She spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened in my life.

Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis

Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.

I asked my Russian friend today, if he is afraid of the corona virus.

He said “no! I have the antidote!” I said, really? What is it? He said “its vodka!” I didn’t believe and said, vodka kills the virus? He said “no, but it kills the fear!”

I was diagnosed with the corona virus at a brothel and the whole place was immediately quarantined.

Jeez, now I’ll be stuck here for two weeks.

LPT: If you hear a funny corona virus joke, please

laugh into your elbow.

ALERT‼️‼️‼️ The corona virus can be spread through money.

If you have any money at home, put on some gloves, put all the money in a plastic bag and put it outside the front door tonight.
I’m collecting all the plastic bags tonight for safety. Think of your health.

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