Cyberjoke Friday v1.4

Check out this computer joke section:


Surfer Sam has several interesting computer jokes (my opinion of course)

  Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.


I always love the old computer quotes:

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
— Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943


The drinking song is a bit sneaky  (I changed it)

Sing out loud to the tune of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” 100 little bugs in the code,
100 bugs in the code,  fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code, fix one bug, compile it again,
102 little bugs in the code…..
Repeat until BUGS = 0

Here under “Another round of funny computer jokes”


The next one has a ring of truth in it:

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

These next ones could also be for kids:

Question: Why was the computer so tired when it got home?
Answer: Because it had a hard drive!

Some joke acronyms:

IBM: I Blame Microsoft

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

The Computer Tells All has the best:

Every solution breeds new problems

and my favorite

Number One top Oxymoron:

Microsoft Works




Cyberjoke Friday edition v1.3

Let’s look at Will and Guy’s joke site today(08/14/2015):

computer_marriage.  (image from

E-mail communication can always cause problems… 🙂

Mystery Joke: (a bit dated …)

{Ricky, a customer, visits PC Express, the computer store, ‘I’m looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.’

‘Well,’ replies the shop assistant, ‘Have you tried Windows Vista?’}

10 laws of computing  best 3 IMHO

1. The number one cause of computer problems are computer solutions.

2. When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.

3. To err is human … to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.


Microsoft’s employee of month (August)

{ Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the MCSE exams, except one. Unless you pass this test you cannot qualify for this job.’

Mujibar said, ‘I am ready’

The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.’

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, ‘Mister manager, I am ready’

The manager said, ‘Go ahead.’ Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, ‘Yellow, this is Mujibar.’

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems. }

(All above jokes from Will and Guy’s joke site.


And for the final “Joke” of the day/Week – Defcon 23 edition:

Chris Rock’s DefCon23 pdf:  “I will Kill You & Birth You”


There is also a youtube video now of this presentation:


Chris Rock – promoting his DefCon talk


It is interesting that the death certificate process is the following in many countries:


Chris now details how he would actually fill out the forms in USA: California and Australia.

Apparently you can even upload “bulk” deaths in Victoria state government site.

Then lists several reasons for killing yourself:

Kill yourself. Enjoy your Life Insurance whilst your alive. No more sinking your boat at sea, or hiding out in Mexico. Start with a new Identification.


Now of course the thing to do is … REBIRTH



Guess what to do now? hack the birth registration process…

How about a Virtual Baby?


I did not want to focus on the process of creating the legal papers for the baby, just the humorous meanings or maybe a bit weird actually.

Did you hear about the Shell companies?


How about Shell babies?

A Shell baby is an entity that appears only on paper “birth certificate”.
Can be used for immediate gain government benefits or a clean SSN.

The funny thing is you can now “kill off” the shell baby and collect on insurance, a great vehicle for money laundering.


Buy highly leveraged derivatives without fear of loss. If the trade pays
off fantastic, if not, the virtual can be killed off for the life insurance or bankrupted and put on the shelf for 3-7 years as defective stock (harder to get finance) and sold as a discount.

Nice DefCon23 talk Chris.

CyberJoke Friday v1.2

Enjoy Cyberjoke Friday Aug, 7, 2015 …


There is this Cartoon:



Found Al Lowe’s humor site – he has a few good Cyber Jokes.  here are 2 that I liked.

Joke #3198:

Two computer geeks were talking. “Guess what?” said one. “What?” said the other. “Yesterday, I met a gorgeous blonde in a bar.” “Really? How’d it go?” “Great. I invited her to my place, we had some drinks, she got into the mood, and she asked me to undress her.” “Whoa.” “Yeah. I took off her dress, picked her up, and put her on my desk beside my new laptop.” “No kidding! You got a new laptop?!”

Joke #2204:

There’s so much sadness in this world. For example, right now, as you read this, 17 million Americans are having sex, but you’re on the computer!


Out of the 17 Computer Jokes   these 3 stand out to me:


Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.

“I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
– Antone Roundy

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.




Cyber Joke Friday v1.1 #Cybersecurity

A great Murphy’s law site on the Net:

All murphy’s laws, but I want to focus on computers… and specifically Cybersecurity


Compiled the 6 of them on my top10…

murphyslaw in cybersecurity



First the only “security” mentions

* Law of Anti-security
The best way past a pesky security feature is a 13-year-old.

* Lulled into Security Law
A ‘debugged’ program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.


we can change the first one

* The best way past a pesky security feature is a Chinese hacker




Then the  classics for computers:

* If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

Could be changed to

* If Security is effective on a computer it will be changed


Or this one:

* Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.

how about this?

* Network traffic will fill the available bandwidth (hackers scans and DDOS)


This one:

The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
Corollary – A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.

The Corollary can be changed to :

A subtle hacker will modify your system while masquerading as a legitimate program



How about this one?

* Still backing up your files? ask the NSA for restore when your restore fails



Please contact US to add to this list -also on Twitter @fixvirus




Cyber jokes Friday Edition v1.0

#10 You can take the nerd out of the cyber war room, but you can’t remove the computers.

Also a good Abbott and Costello Cyber routine:
This is a good “Cyber Joke” movie:  “The Interview”
It is pretty funny – to think that somebody hacked Sony due to their bad security practices for a movie that is  about a leader of a nation that makes him look funny.