Cyberjoke Friday v1.97 quotes edition

Here are some great quotes that should keep you thinking about How much security is needed.

These quotes are from Nativeintelligence.com:

Security is always excessive until it’s not enough. — Robbie Sinclair, Head of Security, Country Energy, NSW Australia

Here is a long one:

Those of us in security are very much like heart doctors — cardiologists. Our patients know that lack of exercise, too much dietary fat, and smoking are all bad for them. But they will continue to smoke, and eat fried foods, and practice being couch potatoes until they have their infarction. Then they want a magic pill to make them better all at once, without the effort. And by the way, they claim loudly that their condition really isn’t their fault — it was genetics, or the tobacco companies, or McDonalds that was to blame. And they blame us for not taking better care of them. Does this sound familiar?

 

This one is important for the Ransomware defense: Schrodinger’s Backup: “The condition of any backup is unknown until a restore is attempted.”

Shrödinger’s cat is a unique phenomenon in quantum mechanics  so in a sense it is a principle of backups that most people need to learn and understand. You HAVE to test the backup, otherwise it is not useful.

 

From Brainyquote.com

Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward.  Maxwell Maltz  (cosmetic surgeon and author of Psycho-Cybernetics).  The original text of his book: “The New Psycho-Cybernetics”

That is an important quote to remember – as you develop your own GRC – Governance, Risk, and Compliance efforts it is important to move forward to keep everyone on task.

“There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity” Douglas MacArthur.


We need to find some hacker security quotes, here is one:

“But we are hackers and hackers have black terminals with green font colors!”  by John Nunemaker (this was from a while ago – likely in the 90s or earlier as today everyone hacks from PCs.

This is more like it:

“I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto, You may stop this individual, but you can’t stop us all.”

“One single vulnerability is all an attacker needs”. Window Snyder – CSO of Fastly

 

Can’t forget Kevin Mitnick (the famous hacker of the 90s)

I have tried to figure out the money available to the hacker for the lack of patch management:

 

And that was at the beginning of this year 2016.  Out of 220 million PCs Microsoft knows that 10% do not patch fast enough ( they can tell how many systems should be accessing their servers).  So 22million PCs are a target for ransomware, which means at $300 per attack this is a potential $7Billion  potential for hackers.  Which means this warchest can be used to make more sophisticated attacks.

 

And we can always go back to the very old:

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

Keep that in mind when teaching the new procedures and policies.

Cyberjoke Friday v1.96 Thanksgiving edition Part 2

Short Cyberjoke Thanksgiving edition

 

GRC = Governance Risk, Management, and Compliance

or is it Governance, Risk Management, and Confusion?

there are jokes in Governance and Risk as well as Cybersecurity.

 

datagovernanceinstitute

Above cartoon from The Data Governance Institute

 

leftquestionnaireontrain

the above cartoon from Healthcare Governance Review

 

cissp_0005_physical-casualdefence

Also from cattail.nu they had some good medieval equivalents

 

 

And now back to Cybersecurity jokes with a new site from makeuseof.com

Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

 

Cyberjoke Friday v1.95

Yes it is a good day for CyberJoke Post today 10/7/16 where we try to make light of some IT life since it is too hard to make the heavy lifting of Cyber understanding.  Sometimes good to take a day off.

Here is an interesting website: Surfersam.com

Best quotes

“I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year.”
— The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

Computer programmer jokes

  • In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.
  • Question: Why do they call it hyper text?
    Answer: Too much JAVA.

Wow this Pinterest board has some good Cybersecurity joke images

timeforanewpasswordimage

This image is originally from itgovernance.co.uk  and is a good illustration of what not to do. Please do not put your passwords on a post-it note

 

malwaredownload-example

Yes before deciding to have all employees connect with their devices to the corp network realize you are opening up to new risks.

 

useraccount-versusadminaccount

This discusses the concept of user account privileges versus admin privileges (i.e. cant install programs without admin pw)

This image is from nakedsecurity.sphos.com

Also from Sophos a new post that talks about computer users have given up on learning more Cybersecurity attacks.

We are always fighting the concept of

Versus

Functionality <——-> Security

Cyberjoke Friday v1.94

 

After another crazy week have to create Cyberjoke post for weekend: Here are some images -sometimes better to explain cybersecurity with jokes…

 

dilbert-identitythieves

thecybersecuritychallenge

above image is from http://blog.marketo.com/2014/06/how-marketers-can-learn-to-speak-it.html

At the following website therewere several apt Dilbert cartoons and also many open source free tools listed:

100+ Open Source/Free Security Tools

Dilbert_InternetSecuritysolution

 

Cyberjoke friday v1.93

Cyberjoke Friday to break up the Cybersecurity posts:

livetweetingkindergarten

realize that our kids and other young people are using technology in ways we don’t understand if we let them… that is why I try to use new technologies and apps every so often.

write500timesonblackboard

Some kids that grow up coding will look at tasks in a different way..

I’m sure the teacher said  write “I will not throw paper airplanes in class”500 times

Sure he can write those 7 words 500 times or he can write a function which would have written it if compiled in C.

#include(stdio.h>

int main(void)

{

for (count=1; count<=500;count++)

printf(“I will not throw paper airplanes in class”);

return 0;

}

 

I always try to find other ways to attempt to show that hackers will hack you even if you don’t know how they do it. They think different, and thus it is unique new problem that Cybersecurity pros have.

 

Since it is Friday I will leave you with:

minionquotes